One Way Or Another
by JM ROCKS
Summary: All Human,very angsty Spuffy,kinda fluffy in places,so be warned! Buffy Finn thinks married life is perfectthat's before she meets her new work colleague,Spike.Suddenly being married doesn't seem so perfect anymore,and neither does Riley... R&R plz,this i
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"You know how I feel " He had said it casually and yet with such meaning that it had spun her off balance. She wondered how she had gotten into this mess in the first place. How every moment of her day was taken up with thoughts of him, of the conversations they shared, those private moments with people all around them. The laughter, the jokes only they could laugh at that nobody else understood. How she missed him when he wasn't there, how she knew he was in the building before she saw him and how that smirk and that blonde hair turned her stomach inside out. Yet she still lived her normal life, came home to Riley , her husband. Shared his life and loved Him, but still thoughts of the other man, Her other life seeped into her mind. She had told Riley about him, casually , the new man at work and Riley had nodded absent mindedly and she had left it at that.She could not share her feelings with anyone else , how would they understand? That everytime she thought about him she smiled and everytime she said his name her face lit up.Everytime someone else said his name she felt instant possession and what a name . "My names William " he had said when he first met her."But My friends call me Spike"

"How do you feel?" She said quietly, aware that others in the staff canteen could hear them.Spike shook his head at her. They were sitting as they normally did at the end of the table, side by side, legs touching. When he had first brushed her leg with his, she had thought it an accident and had moved her own leg out of the way,but his leg had followed hers and now that was as she always sat.Next to him and always touching, leg, foot, arm He still didn't answer and she spoke again."Spike?"

"If you don't know that " he said roughly "Then I'm bloody out of here" He shoved his chair back and strode out of the canteen with the table of eyes following him. She looked after him and sighed. The table of eyes looked at her for explanation, she shrugged. Pushing back her chair slowly she started out after him.

"Buffy?" Andrew queried. She smiled at her friend but she said nothing,touched him gently on the shoulder and walked out of the staff canteen after Spike. She had worked in the store for almost 12 months, since coming to England to be near her Mom and step-dad Rupert. She and Riley loved England and although she had to work the night shift to afford the house they lived in, she quite liked her life , had been settled, until five months ago when Spike had started here too. He was married too. to Dru, he didn't mention her much but Buffy sensed that He wasn't happy ,or was that wishful thinking on her behalf. Lately she had hoped that Riley would want to go home to the states.She despised the thoughts she had,but couldn't make them go away.

She knew where he was, she could hear him throwing stuff about. She watched him from the door of the stock room as he repeatedly kicked a box.

"Hope that's not fragile?" she said lightly, feeling anything but. He half turned and glared at her

"Fuck off Buffy" he growled and continued to kick the box like a demon.Buffy sighed, but she couldn't go.

"I just want to know how you feel?" she repeated This time he stopped the kicking and faced her. His jaw pulsated as he glared at her."Spike?" He sighed and slumped to lean back against a pile of boxes behind him. He looked suddenly weary and Buffy wanted to hold him. She stepped toward him,hesitating and stopped a couple of yards in front of him.He said nothing and wouldn't look at her , after a few seconds she turned to leave, but he jumped up and held her arm.

"You asked for this remember."she turned to look at him and he began to pace." I think about you all the time, I'm at home and your there, the stuff we laughed at ,the bloody silly stuff we've said" he paused his pacing to look at her. " I feel that you're the only one who knows me and I've been with Dru for bloody forever, but even she doesn't get me" he smiled at her and her insides melted. " I want to be near you all the time, the little touches at the table ,when we're horrible to each other.When you leave here in the morning I miss you like mad and to be honest now it's driving me up the fucking wall.Now they're talking about moving me to another store" Buffy gasped and he tilted his head at her." I want to stay, but can you give me a reason to?"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing, everything belongs to Joss Whedon. I would like a few borrowed moments with Spike and that face and those hands and that... Oh wait, just enjoy.

Summary: All human, plenty of angst but lots of spuffy!

Chapter Two.

Buffy looked directly at him, her mouth dry, lips glued together. She wanted to say she was his reason for being here, her mouth unstuck to say it, but sensible, responsible Buffy only managed a vision of Riley in her head.She could meet his gaze no longer and she dropped her eyes to the floor. She felt his finger touch her chin and lift her eyeline to his. "Buffy" he whispered softly and in that one moment she was undone. She swallowed hard and tried to think of all the reasons why this should not happen, but the only word that came into her mind was Spike.

"Spike?" she muttered , so quietly that he leant forward to hear her, his lips now barely inches from her face and her own lips. With a soft sweep of her fingers she touched his bottom lip, swept her finger across it in an intimate gesture that surpassed all moments they had shared. She sighed and even she didn't know if it was a contented sigh or a sigh that this could not happen.

"Buffy " He repeated and still her fingers gently touched his lips"Bloody hell girl, what are you trying to do to me?" she glanced down at his bulging trousers and realised the power she held over him. Now she was breathless and it was obvious that this was a strong mutual desire.

"Buffy " a voice called from just outside the storeroom door and they were both snatched away from their heaven.Spike growled low in his throat.

"Back to the fuckin' hellmouth" Before he moved away from her he took her fingers in his mouth and gently sucked them . Buffy gasped and leaned into him slightly. "We have to talk later " he said urgently and she nodded slowly. He strode out of the storeroom without a backward glance and in that moment she wished that she had kissed him. _So much for resolve,_ she laughed to herself.

"Hello" a hand waved across her face as she was deep in thought over the coffee break." Just where are you girl?" Buffy smiled at Andrew as he peered at her across the table.

"You really don't want to know" she shook her head as she laughed, those thoughts of her and naked Spike brought a flush to her cheeks and she touched her hot cheeks.

"Oh with that look on your face Miss Buffy, I think I really do. Now spill!" He looked at her expectantly. Buffy smiled at her best friend, but even she knew that this was dangerous information. The door to the canteen opened and she looked up as Spike strode in. Immediately her face lit up ,which she quelled as soon as she felt herself smile.Andrew raised his eyebrows at her as she watched Spike get his coffee.

" Buffy Finn" he said fiercely."You are so going to tell me about you and Spike and that cute butt" He peered round Buffy to get a better look, and she slapped him playfully. Spike approached with his drink.

"Move up Andrew " He instructed as he made to sit opposite Buffy.

"Oh anything for you Spike, you could always sit on my knee!"

Spike shook his head with a smile."Fuck off Andrew"

Andrew sighed and pushed his chair back.

"One day Spike, you will realise what you're missing, but for now scoot off into the closet back to Narnia" With a flounce and a wink at Buffy he left.

"So" Spike said purposefully, feeling anything but. " We should talk." Buffy looked directly at him into those blue eyes. She sighed.

"Spike " she whispered softly " I don't want you to go and I don't know what that means, but I couldn't bear it if you left" she let out a breath she felt she had been holding since their earlier encounter." The thing is we're both married and ..." The words failed her as he tilted his head at her."Don't do that " she said with a laugh.  
"What ?" he queried softly, running his teeth behind his tongue.

" I can't think when you do that"  
"That's the idea luv" she kicked him playfully under the table. "Buffy " he spoke more seriously ."The thing is luv, I have these feelings for you that won't go away, no matter how hard I try, and fuck me I've tried." He sighed and stroked her leg under the table with his leg. "It's not just wanting a quick shag either, jesus I get offered shags on a plate"

She raised her eyebrows at him.

"But you luv.."He paused, trying to express the right words. "You I'm in love with "


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry not updated before now, but it has been busy, busy, busy. Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming or I will think you don't like it.

Chapter Three.

The words speechless and Buffy were definitely non-mixy,the fact that she sat with her mouth open and her brain racing and that her world was about to implode gave her an air of vulnerability that Spike found hard to ignore. The fact that for the hundreth time that night his trousers threatened to cut off his circulation and his words were anything but coherent and all he wanted to do was make love to her over the staff canteen table, oblivious to the audience they would have.

Buffy shook her head slightly , as if not quite believing what was happening. Spike watched her inner demons and he would have done anything to prove to her that he spoke the truth, but this was her information to digest. She glanced across at the worry lines on his face and she knew that whatever she could not do to him at this table, she had to express her feelings to him.

"Spike " she whispered quietly. " I can't say much here but, " She paused and Spike literally braced himself against the table, the pain in his face apparent.Fighting the urge to reach over and touch his face she instead stroked the inside of his leg with her foot, a move that made him give an anguished moan. Buffy bit her bottom lip" I wish this were easy, we're both married. " She sighed and Spike waited for the brushoff, the brushoff that said 'it's been fun to flirt and touch you but nothing else.' He was so intent on listening for the brushoff that he failed to hear what she actually said. He opened his mouth to speak and then a staff announcement went out.

"Buffy Finn to the customer service desk." She stood automatically and moved to the door. She had been a little disappointed that Spike had given her no reaction to what she had told him, she sighed and moved out onto the shop floor. She turned slightly as she saw Spike running towards her, he grabbed her arm.

"What did you say Buffy? I didn't hear you" she smiled widely at him and whispered in his ear.

"I love you too Spike" She moved round the corner to the customer service desk with a smile on her face.The smile dropped as she saw the customer."Hey, Riley" she said as her husband approached her. In what seemed like a plot from a comedy Spike continued round the corner at full pelt and knocked her over.

"Oh shit! Buffy I'm sorry." He bent down to help her up and she would have laughed if Riley wasn't also helping her up.

"You must be Spike.I'm Riley, Buffy's husband" In his head Spike said 'oh fuck',in the real world he smiled weakly and shook his hand.

"He seems nice" Riley said sincerely as Buffy walked him to the car. Buffy smiled weakly and nodded. She still wondered why he was shopping at 3am in the morning, she had not asked him."You ok honey?" he touched the side of her face lightly and she looked deep into his eyes, she wanted to see those things she had fallen in love with, she touched his face in return, but the only thing she could see was Spike's face and that nearly broke her heart.

"I'm fine, Riley. Go on home with you." She watched him from the car park as he started the engine .She waved wearily as the tears slowly fell down her face. This was the man she had married, the man she loved...but was not in love with and now she would destroy him . She had told another man she loved him tonight, without a thought for Riley. The tears fell and she didn't hear the footsteps behind her. Spike spun her round and clung to her . He smoothed her hair.

"I know, luv, I know." He held her whilst she cried.He did know what this would do , this whole thing with them and now it had to be her decision if this was to go any further. She had much more to lose than him. God help him if she walked away from him, he was already in too deep, but if she did he would respect her choice, he had to even if it eventually destroyed him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer. I own none of these, they all belong to joss the genius. well never mind I can dream about Spike/ James. They can't take them away from me.**

Chapter four.

"I think " she said quietly, although her head was spinning and her voice loud. " We have to ..." she paused and Spike pulled away suddenly. They were still standing in the carpark where Riley had just left her. Her husband Riley , had driven round the corner and here she was in the arms of the man she had just told she loved. Way to go with the complications.

"Yeah maybe you're right" Spike said pacing in front of her. "Maybe we should just not do this, maybe if I walk away now and get that transfer then this really won't be a problem. You can just carry on with your little life and I'll" He paused well he would be destroyed,but fuck he was actually trying not to influence her one way or another. He might as well get on his knees and beg. "And I'll get on with mine. " He stopped pacing in front of her long enough to look briefly at the anguish in her face.

"I was gonna say we have to be very careful " She shook her head at him and walked away, cursing loudly under her breath, words he had never heard her use.

"Oh fuck" he said as he ran inside after her. He ran through the entrance straight into Andrew, who glared at him.

"Whatever you have done to her you'll have me to answer to " Spike wanted to laugh in his face, but the look of pure venom that Andrew had mustered made him stop short and regard Buffy's friend with new respect and despite himself and even though he shouldn't have said it he turned to Andrew.

"I love her man." He walked away , as he left Andrew in a gooey mess by the door.

Buffy moved with speed and she put herself straight back to work, in her department full of people. She spied Spike as he came round the corner, he nearly ran into Angel the department manager.

"Spike , just the man I wanted! I need you up on grocery." Spike opened his mouth to object but was shooed away by Angel's huge hands. He looked frantically at Buffy, but she did not return his glance.

"Buffy, my office!" Angel boomed as Spike walked off. Buffy raised her eyebrows, she knew she had to offer some kind of explanation.

"God " she muttered to herself.

Angel had his office door open, he motioned her to sit down and she closed the door."What the fuck is going on Buffy?" Buffy stared at this man in front of her, aware she was about to involve him in something that she shouldn't.

"Can I not tell you?" she pleaded and gave him what she hoped was her puppy dog look. Angel glared at her and she was undone as she looked into the eyes of her older brother.

"Fuck off, Buffy. Now tell me what's going on with you and peroxide boy?" Buffy smiled despite herself. She knew Angel and Spike were good mates outside of work.She sighed again and put her head in her hands. Immediately Angel scooted round the desk and tugged her into his large arms. Buffy felt the tears again and this time she surrendered to them , in her big brothers arms she was safe.

Spike finished up on grocery and tried to saunter past Buffy's ailse, panic set in as he realised she wasn't there.

"Where's Buffy?" he asked a passing Andrew.He motioned to the office. Spike looked up at Angels's closed door. "Fuck this" he muttered. Without knocking he opened the door , saw Buffy crying in Angel's arms and panic set in and he lurched forward and grabbed hold of Buffy.She looked up at him with tears falling down her face and his heart broke. He hugged her to him and he silently pleaded with Angel for some alone time. Angel shook his head and motioned for them to sit down as he closed the door.Sppike knew better than to argue. He sat on the small chair and pulled Buffy onto his lap, where she nuzzled into his neck. I am never going to get off this chair now he said to himself ,as his trousers were about to cut his circulation off.

Angel waited for Buffy's tears to subside and he watched them carefully, he sighed when he realised that this was never going to be just a works fling.

"So." he spoke finally. Buffy managed to lift her head from Spike's neck to look at her brother, but not before she nipped it. Spike shifted beneath her and she heard the groan at the back of his throat. Angel raised an eyebrow and Buffy sheepishly slid off Spike's lap and into the chair next to him. She glanced up at his face and she squeezed his hand. Spike smiled and held on tightly. Angel coughed from his chair, he knew with more than three hours to go he would get no work from these two."Look you two need to sort this out, whatever's going on you can't bring it into work. Go on," he waved his hand "I'll clear it." They both stood still clutching hands, Angel glared at them.

"Buffy you go outside to your car whilst I sort a few details out with blonde boy here" Buffy looked at Angel with panic, but she had no choice. She smiled weakly at Spike and closed the door behind her.

Angel loomed in front of Spike with all his brotherly instincts to protect showing on his face.

"You fuck around with her and you'll be shit under my shoes.Best mate or not"

"I love her" was all Spike said in his defence, Angel sighed and shook his head.

"An I wish you didn' . You know how ugly this could get" Spike nodded his head and rubbed his hand across his face."Dru gets hold of this and my little sister will be.."He paused because they both knew what would happen, didn't Spike have the marks to prove that? "You look after her or else." Was Angel really giving his blessing, he frowned at his friend.

"What about Riley?" He asked . Angel gritted his teeth.

"There is so something not right about that bloke " Spike stared for a moment and then reached out to hug his friend."Go on, " Angel dismissed " Sort this. " With that Spike was gone and running to the car park.A set of headlights flashed at him from the other side of the car park and he set off running. He opened the door and threw himself in.

"Your brother is..." His words were cut off by the sweetest kiss ever, as Buffy pulled at his lower lip and licked along the edge until he opened his mouth and she gained entrance.Spike found himself not breathing as she battled gently with his tongue, she held the back of his neck and caressed the soft area there. Spike let out a soft groan as his trousers became unbearable. He knew that as he pulled her towards him, winding his hands through her hair, that this would be their undoing. He did not want a quick shag in the staff carpark. As Buffy groaned he pulled away to breathe, still clutching at each other."Not like this," he panted and he kissed her forehead. Buffy whispered some incoherent words, but she started the engine. She turned to him and touched her fingers to his bottom lip.Spike groaned and gently kissed her fingers.

"I am so going to get some bigger trousers" They both laughed as Buffy drove off , they both knew that outside of each other there would be not much to laugh about. They had both taken the risk and now there was no going back.

**A/N:**

**Just a quick thankyou to those of you who by reviewing have pushed me on to write another chater so quickly. The trouble is the story has already taken over.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer. yada yada yada. I own nothing.. if only I did, a nibble at Spike would help!**

Chapter Five.

"Not much of a driver luv, are you?" Spike queried as she took the roundabout at high speed. He gripped onto the door handle, he felt his life depended on it. He caught her smile as she pulled over into the fast food car park. "You hungry?" He asked .Buffy shook her head , but got out of the car anyway. Spike followed, pulling out his cigarettes and leaning back on the car door to smoke it.

"There's no where open and besides if we sit alone in the car long enough, we might just get carried away. " She stepped up close to Spike and he nearly swallowed his cigarette in suprise as she cupped his hardness through his trousers. "Are you always this turned on?" she asked quietly as she stroked him through the material. Spike threw the cigarette and grabbed hold of her wrist to stop her.

"If you keep doing that we may just get carried away outside of the car" he leaned toward her though and allowed himself a simple kiss on her neck. "And suprisingly it's just you that gets me like that." He nibbled at her earlobe and felt her legs buckle beneath him."Are you always this turned on?" he laughed in her ear. He grabbed her hand and their fingers entwined ."A perfect fit " he said with wonder."Come on , we can at least get a coffee". He vaguely wondered whether they knew anyone who worked here, maybe they should have come further afield. But not if she was driving.Buffy sat at a table at the back of the restaurant as Spike grabbed a coffee. She rubbed her face in anguish, she knew that they had stepped over the flirting line and that everything that happened now was in dangerous territrory .So caught up in emotions she didn't see Spike return to the table, she felt him raise her chin with one finger and he looked at her with such love and longing that she wished things were just as simple as that.

"I have," she began quietly."Never felt like this about anyone else in my whole life." she sighed and sipped at the coffee."Not even Riley. I was on my own in the states, mom was here and so was Angel, Riley was kind and I grew to care for him, thought I loved him."She looked up at Spike. "That's why I was crying in the carpark, I just realised that I was never in love with him." she shook her head . " I realised that this is so going to be the end of everything I know." She rubbed her hand across her face again and Spike held her hand across the table. "I know there's no going back, do you?"

"Buffy, you have become my everything. Without even realising it at first, you have invaded me." He laughed. "I'm drowning in you and it's a good job I'm a pretty good swimmer or I'd be fucked." He paused as she squeezed his hand ." But there is something that you have to understand and I should have told you this before" He bit his bottom lip , in a gesture that mirrored Buffy's own. "I've been with Dru for ten years, since I was twenty five, an' she's not exactly Miss stable" he laughed at the irony of that statement. "Angel will tell you I've tried to get out of it lots and lots of times, but each time she's done something stupid, attempted suicide, self harming, you name it.But recently she's got much worse and i've been scared." Spike rubbed his hands through his hair "She started hurting me, I woke up from my sleep to find her doing this. "He lifted his shirt sleeve up and showed Buffy a large scab on his arm. "She burnt me with a cigarette or three." He laughed a little to break the tension, but Buffy did not laugh. Two large tears fell from her eyes and she touched the scab gently. "There are others, but not in places for public consumption." Buffy could not take her eyes off his arm and Spike wondered if he had told her too much."I need to get away from her, but I need to find the right way. I'm trying to get her to see her shrink again.But she's stubborn". He leaned forward and rubbed the tears away with his thumbs. "I can't afford her to get to you. That would kill me" She looked sharply up and saw that he spoke the truth, the love in his eyes blinded her in that moment.

"I love you Spike " She spoke and the tears fell from her eyes. He smiled broadly at her and squeezed her hand."And now I just need you on your own." She stood up swiftly and walked from the restaurant, leaving open mouth Spike at the table. "You really have to learn to keep up" She shouted over her shoulder .


	6. Chapter 6

disclaimer. I own nothing, except maybe Spike , in my dreams.

A/N thanks for all your reviews, I'm glad you seem to like it.

Chapter Six.

Spike chased Buffy to the car, just as she reached the door handle, his hand grabbed her wrist. He pulled her roughly toward him, capturing her mouth with his.Buffy moaned into his mouth as he licked along her lips.Despite the fact that they were in a public carpark they pressed against each other, their bodies moulded perfectly together.

"You will be the death of me " Spike groaned as they both took time to breathe.He leaned in further towards her for a kiss, just reaching her when He felt the vibration from Buffy's pocket."Fuck!" he said impatiently. Buffy flipped open the phone and frowned.

"Angel " she spoke quietly into the phone, the colour drained from her face and she glanced across at Spike. She frowned and touched his cheek gently. "Ok, we'll be right back." She replaced the phone in her pocket and dropped her gaze to the floor.

"Buffy?" Spike queried. He lifted her chin to look into her eyes.Buffy chewed on her bottom lip nervously.

"We have to get back, " she paused "Dru's turned up at work, she's not in good shape." Fear clenched at Spike's chest and the moments of happiness he had shared with Buffy disappeared in front of his eyes and reality slammed back into his face.He nodded silently and without another word climbed into the passenger seat. Buffy sighed and watched him for a second through the window.The pain radiated from him in waves and she was helpless. "Fuck, fuck,fuck." She whispered as she went to the drivers side.

They drove round the corner in silence and Buffy watched Spike through the corner of her eye. His jaw was clenched and he bit at his bottom lip. A lip she had nibbled at only minutes earlier. Words seemed futile, she reached across and squeezed his hand, he responded breifly by returning the squeeze, but pulled his hand away almost immediately. As she stopped the car he was out almost immediately and without a backward glance he went into the store. She locked the car and walked slowly after him. Angel was waiting for her at the entrance, without saying a word he pulled her into his arms. Buffy pulled away from him and started to follow Spike.

" Buffy " Angel warned and pulled her to sit on one of the benches. Buffy pulled away from him, but Angel held her firmly."You can't go in there honey, you can't help him with this." he hugged her again. "She's in a mess, she's been cutting herself." Buffy looked at him wide eyed.

"He needs me! " She pushed against her brother's chest.

"Maybe he does, but not in there with her. Buffy, he has to sort this out." Their conversation was cut short by Spike leaving the store, he was holding a wailing Dru . Buffy's heart broke at the anguish in his face and she instinctively stood to go to him. But she stopped at the simple shake of Spike's head in her direction. She could not help the tears as they fell. Despite the fact that they had only just openly admitted their feelings towards each other. Buffy felt the pull towards him, they had a bond now .She watched as Angel moved across to help Spike get Dru into the car. Buffy sat back on the bench, pulled her knees up towards herself and watched helplessly as Spike drove off, with his wife and with what was left of Buffy's heart.

Angel perched beside his sister and cursed . She was hurting so badly and there was nothing he could do about it. This was Buffy's and Spike's reality, no matter what moments they had together, brief moments of happiness.Waiting at the other side would be this, pain and shit. He pulled her to him as she sobbed. He had many wishes, but just to see his baby sister happy would be a start.

"Honey, go on home, there's nothing you can do" Buffy opened her eyes and stared at him.

"Did he say anything?" She asked quietly. Angel shook his head and Buffy's bottom lip trembled. "I'll go then."

Wearily she stood and Angel squeezed her tight.

"Let me know if you speak to him " He nodded and watched as she walked away. Now he had to stand by and watch his sister fall apart, he hoped there would be a happy ending, but even he didn't believe in miracles.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer. Again I own nothing , all haill to genius Joss and the beautiful Spike/James.

A/N Thanks to all those people who have reviewed and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update, but I work nights and have 4 kids.!

Chapter Seven.

Buffy opened the door and crept in. Her head was pounding and she needed a coffee and time to digest the nights events. It all seemed so dream like, finally she had admitted she loved Spike, after all those months of flirting and denial.She would have made love to him tonight too, a fact that shocked her. She had never wanted anything so badly.Then of course there was Riley and Dru, she curled up on the sofa with her drink and turned on the tv. Now she just needed noise to distract her, before her head exploded.

She glanced at her cell phone for the hundreth time since coming home, she hoped Angel would have heard something by now. She sighed and popped it into her pocket.She glanced around the living room ,she had been so content here. Now it bothered her to be contained within these four walls with Riley. He simply didn't make her happy anymore. She wished it was as simple as making the decision to leave and walking away. She sighed, but nothing would be easy and everyone involved would get hurt in some shape or form. Her thoughts turned back to Spike and she realised that his decision to walk away would never be easy whilst Dru was sick. The tears formed in her eyes as she pictured the pain in his face. All she'd wanted to do was to help, she couldn't even do that.

The cell phone vibrated in her pocket and she jumped to try and get it out of her trousers. She nibbled on her bottom lip anxiously as she realised it was Angel.

"Hey" she said quietly.

"You did go home ?" he questioned. Buffy sighed and allowed herself a smile at his brotherly protection.

"Yeah, sat in the living room drinking coffee" she paused, almost holding her breath.

"Good I didn't want you driving all over the country upset" Buffy smiled again."Well are you gonna ask me?"

"What?" she frowned.

"Fuck me Buffy, d'ya forget about the guy already" .Panic rose in her chest briefly and anger.

"Fuck you "

"Hey honey" Angel said softly "I was only joking".

"My life is not a joke". She bit on her bottom lip to stop the tears from falling.

"I'm sorry honey.Forgive me " A few stray tears fell and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. Angel fell silent and she waited.

"Buffy" another voice spoke and her heart raced as she realised it was Spike."Buffy" he repeated when she didn't reply.

"Spike" she whispered as she began to cry in earnest.

"OH shit, oh bollocks, Buffy don't cry I can't hold you over the phone. Come on luv I'm ok. Speak to me."

"I'm here" she wiped her face again.

"Oh thank fuck."

"Where are you?" she pictured him in her head and she smiled broadly.

"I'm at the hospital with Dru, they're trying to get her admitted to the psychiatric ward." she heard the pain in his voice and she wished he was beside her." They're going to keep her here. She hurt herself so badly tonight. The blood was fuckin' everywhere."

"Are you ok, did she hurt you?" she felt him pause and all her instincts to protect him kicked in.

"A little but I've got stitches, so I'm ok.Listen luv i've gotta go, I just had to tell you I love you." . Warmth surged into Buffy's body and she felt those tears again."I'll see you later ok?"

"I love you too" she replied into the phone and realising he was gone she flipped it shut.

"Who the fuck was that?" Her head spun round to the door . Riley standing before her.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer. Oh yet again I own nothing, just a vivid Spike/James induced imagination and happy daydreams.

A/N Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far and I will try and make this chapter longer, although I really don't have any control over the length of this thing. I told you it has a life of it's own.!

Chapter Eight.

Without a seconds hesitation Buffy replied instantly.

"It was Angel, checking I was ok, he sent me home early from work." Her heart was actually beating at double the normal rate and she was surprised at the ease at which she lied. It wasn't actually a lie anyway. She looked at Riley with a smile, a smile he did not return.

"What's up with you?" His voice was harsh and for a moment she wondered if he actually knew the truth.

"I felt sick, we weren't that busy so ..." She didn't get time to finish as Riley reached forward and snatched her cell phone from her hand. Buffy opened her mouth to curse him, but the angry look on his face made her bite her tongue. She watched as Riley flipped open the phone and found the last caller. He threw the phone back on the sofa as he saw that it was Angel.

"Do you always say you love him?" She shot him a curious look and smiled slightly.

"Yeah,course!He's my brother." She was smiling but Riley was beginning to frighten her. She had never seen him like this, like he was possessed. Riley stood up to his full height and glared at her.

"I don't want you to tell anyone else you love them, except me." Buffy stood then and tried to stand up to him.

"But he's my brother and I tell my mum I love her too. " Riley grabbed her arm then and twisted her hand sharply. Buffy shrieked in pain as he clenched her hand tight.

"You _will_ listen to me, you understand?" Buffy nodded slowly, the tears falling down her face. She noticed that as he released her arm, he had fine marks on the inside of his arm.

"Riley?" She questioned softly as he pulled on his coat,"Are you ok?"He turned then to face her with a smile.

"Sure honey! Oh did I remember to tell you that I have to go away for a few days with work?" She shook her head slowly. "Oh sorry babe! I've got to go up to Manchester, I'll be back on Friday, so three days. Will you be ok?" Buffy nodded again, all the time her heart racing with fear.She just wanted him out of the house, before he changed back to evil Riley.She watched as he grabbed his weekend bag from behind the door. He came toward her then and she froze, but this Riley grabbed her around the waist and hugged her gently to him.

"I love you, babe". Buffy tried to reply, but the words would not come. Instead she kissed his cheek and hugged him back.

Riley pulled away from her and with a smile he was out the door. Buffy fell onto the floor in a heap and cradled her bad hand with her good one. The pain coming from it was intense and she had a really bad feeling that Riley had broken it. It was starting to swell already. She picked up the phone from the sofa and pressed redial, not easy to do with one hand.It rang for what seemed like an eternity and eventually Angel replied.

"Angel!Can you come? I think I've broken my hand." She began to cry before she had flipped the phone down. She curled up on the sofa and cried in earnest.

She must have dozed for a few minutes, the hard banging on the front door woke her up. For one moment she had forgotten about her hand, but as soon as she stood up, the pain from it made her nearly sick.She pulled open the front door with her right hand and found not only Angel, but Spike on the doorstep.Despite her intentions not to cry yet again, she started as soon as Spike made the step towards her. He clutched her to him tightly, it felt like days since he'd last held her. He felt her wince in his arms and he pulled her into the living room to look at her hand.He saw the swelling and the bruising and he frowned at her. Angel peered at her over Spike's shoulder.

"How d'ya do it honey?" Angel asked quietly, but Buffy could see him clench his jaw in anger. She swallowed hard, she had gone on first instincts when she had rung him. She certainly didn't expect him and Spike to appear on her doorstep.She pulled away from Spike slightly and looked at them both.

"I trapped it in the door" She smiled weakly. Hoping that they would believe her. Angel had always known when she was lying when she was a kid,but tonights events had proved that she could lie very well. She saw them look at each other and instantly she knew that they didn't believe her.

"Look give me a break!" She grew angry. "If you're not gonna take me to hospital then I'll go myself" She turned away from them both.Instantly she felt Spike's arms on her shoulders, gently turning her around. He had not spoken since he arrived and she knew that this was something else for him to worry about.

"Buffy,luv, "He whispered and she knew he was trying to contain his anger. "Did Riley do this to you?"

Buffy tried to shake her head,but she nodded her head instead and watched as Spike's whole body vibrated with temper.She stepped back away from him, momentarily frightened. Spike realised that he was scaring her and he pulled her to him gently.

"What happened ?"He said, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head.Buffy was aware of Angel pacing and then going off out of the room.

"He heard me say I love you. I told him I was saying it to Angel and he went crazy,he said I wasn't to say it to anyone, not even Mom." The words came out in a rush of fear and emotion .Angel reappeared at the doorway and shook his head at Spike.

"Buffy," Spike continued gently. "Where did he go?".He put his finger under her chin and made her look at him."Buffy?" He continued softly.

"He went up to the job in Manchester 'till friday." Spike looked across at Angel. Buffy caught the look and caught Angel's eyes.

"Please don't do anything, Angel,please!" She looked for signs of her brother's temper.Angel smiled at her and stepped forward to touch her face.

"Go to the hospital,honey.Don't worry about a thing."

Spike held her to him as they went to the car. He helped her into the passenger side and closed the door quietly. He looked at Angel.

"Riley's a fuckin' dead man." Spike spat Riley's name out with such venom that even his best friend was momentarily surprised.Angel was even more shocked to see a stray tear fall slowly down his face. He patted Spike on the arm and got into the back of the car.

The second time the pair of them had been to the hospital that night.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer. I know nothing belongs to me, at least I can borrow for a minute or two. Again Spike/james remain My inspiration and fuel the fire.

A/N I know this is pretty angsty, but eventually it does get better and I have a feeling that there will be some Spuffy in this chapter.

Chapter Nine.

They journeyed in silence to the hospital, but Spike was aware of every movement that Buffy made. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she winced in pain. He fought the urge to reach out to her, but she was pressed against the door and was too far away for him to reach. He felt his temper boiling and knew that he had to get out of this car and now. He pulled over suddenly, nearly causing the car behind him to run into the back of them. To the surprise of both Buffy and Angel, he got out of the car, slamming the door with such force that the car shook.They both watched as Spike went over the road and flung himself down to sit in an isolated metal bus stop.

Buffy watched , without saying a word as he sat down, as quickly he was up again, pacing up and down. Suddenly Spike began to punch the metal side of the bus stop repeatedly. Buffy lurched forward and opened her car door, seconds before Angel.

"I'll go" she said quietly, she watched as the bus stop shook under Spike's relentless punishment. Taking a deep breath, she approached him with caution.With her good hand, she reached forward slowly and touched his shoulder. Spike spun around, temper flaring.As quickly as it had started he stopped, realising Buffy, his Buffy was stood before him. She took his hand in her good one and watched as the blood slowly dripped through the knuckles.She brought it to her lips and began to lick the blood off the wound. She heard Spike gasp and she smiled a small smile.When she had cleaned it she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and she looked up into his darkening eyes.

"You feel better now?" she asked quietly and with a moments hesitation he nodded."Come on let's go . " She moved to walk away , but Spike pulled her possessively to him, he wound his arm around her waist ,barely a breath from her lips.

"He will never touch you again, I don't want you anywhere near the wanker. Ok?" The ok spoken with a pleading tone and Buffy realised in that instant, how much he actually loved her. She touched the side of his face and could not believe that this man now felt like her whole life. He was her whole life and that thought frightened her.

"I don't ever want to be near him again." Buffy knew that she could never be near Riley again, he scared her and although she didn't want to think about him hurting her,she remembered the fine marks on his arm.

"I think he's on drugs." She said to Spike, who clutched her to him."How could I have not noticed that?"

Spike kissed the top of her head and cursed himself for his obvious arousal. Buffy pulled away and smiled at him. She shook her head in wonder.

"I'm sorry". He tried to pull away but Buffy gripped him firmly." Buffy," He tilted his head at her." Buffy, we really have to go and get sorted out. Luv ? " She released him and kissed his lips lightly.Spike led her back to the car without another word.

Today, Buffy's world had taken a complete 360 degree turn.Today her husband had broken her hand in a fit of temper. The like of which she had never expereienced, something about her mild mannered husband had changed today. He had become someone strange and wild. Despite all of this, despite the hand in a plaster cast, in a nice blue, it had to be said. She had spent most of the morning at the hospital in the one good arm of the man she loved. His hand was bandaged and much to his horror, an injection in his ass.She had asked to join him for this part of his treatment. The look on his face had been enough to make her day seem less grey.Now they were on their to Angel's house, for a good sleep. She leant against him in the back of the car, she was so tired.

Spike glanced down at her, he pulled her closer as he realised she was asleep. Today his world had done a complete 360 degrees. His wife was being held on a psychiatric ward. He had a couple of broken fingers, severe bruising and a few stitches at the top of his arm where Dru had stabbed him. Oh and a sore arse, thanks to an injection he was certain he didn't need. Despite all this he had spent most of the morning in the arms of this woman.The woman he loved.Now it was back to his best mates' for sleep.

"You two 'll have to stay off work tonight" Angel spoke to Spike, looking at him through the mirror. "Don't worry, I can clear it." Spike nodded his thanks. Angel had been more than a best friend today.

"Stay at mine.Ok?" Again Spike nodded and although he tried to fight it , his eyes began to droop and he was soon asleep,his head leaning against Buffy's.

Angel watched them both through the mirror. He sighed and tried to relax. He was more than wound up. The thought of Riley daring to touch his sister made him tremble, at least Spike had gotten some of his anger out on the bus stop. Angel knew that he wouldn't relax until he had Riley sorted and that was first thing on his agenda.

Buffy woke with a sigh, lying on the sofa in Angel's living room.Spike's hand was wound tightly round her waist. She looked down at his hands. The one not bandaged she stroked gently. From the dark shadows she knew they had been asleep a long time. She glanced at her watch, nearly five o'clock. Although stiff from lying on this thing she did not want to move. Her hand was killing and she knew that she would need something for the pain soon.She sighed and almost immediately a hand stroked her good arm.

"Did I wake you?" She asked quietly. Spike kissed the back of her neck.

"No luv, been awake ages. Didn't wanna move." Buffy struggled to turn round to face him. Finally she was looking into those eyes, she shivered slightly.She touched his cheek gently.

"Most people take to dating." She said with a small laugh. "We plunge straight in with the 'I love you's' and the visits to hospital." She touched his lips and Spike opened them instinctively.

"Most people". Spike said with a grin as he tried to nip her fingers. "Haven't had their husbands break their arms or their wives stab them." He took one of the tips of her fingers into his mouth and sucked gently. Buffy groaned.Her eyes closed ,until she realised what he had said.

"She stabbed you? Where?" he touched his left arm. With a struggle Buffy lifted up his t-shirt arm, She fingered the bandage gently.She stopped and Spike watched as her face grew serious."With all this other stuff, we shouldn't even be trying to have a relationship. " She felt him stiffen and she touched his face, he pulled away. Buffy forced him to look at her."Listen to me, I said we shouldn't, not that we can't. This thing between us. This love." She smiled at him, tracing his lips again."This love is what I need, what I want." She leant closer and captured his bottom lip in her teeth.Spike leant into her and groaned when Buffy pulled away. " One way or another it will work." She captured his lip again, using her tongue to gain entry into his warm mouth.Spike's tongue traced around her lips and teeth and she felt they were one. The tears fell as she realised how perfect they actually were together. Spike pulled away, feeling her wet face.He tilted his head at her, opened his mouth to speak and Buffy plunged her tongue into his mouth. Captured his own tongue and began the dance.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer. Again I own nothing, all hail to Joss for his obvious genius. All hail to James/Spike for _his_ obvious genius!

A/N Thanks to everyone who has reviewed.This chapter will "explore" Buffy and Spike's feelings for each other.Not sure what track that will take. I apologise for grammatical error in this one, but normally my 12 year old daughter corrects for me. She probably won't be allowed to do that on this chapter.!

Chapter Ten.

Bufffy pulled away first, reluctantly. She needed air and she felt dizzy from the dance with Spike's tongue. She looked into his eyes, deep with desire and wanting. He wanted her and she wanted him. The tingling she felt from head to toe was burning her up from the inside.She leant forward and captured his bottom lip again. He groaned deep in his throat and she felt her desire for him pool between her thighs. She had never shared a kiss like this with anyone.Instinctively she reached between them and touched the bulge in his trousers.

"Are you really this pleased to see me?" Spike responded by thrusting his hips at her and at the same time smashing his mouth back down onto hers. Buffy slowly unzipped his trousers and was amazed to find no underwear! His penis sprang out and she captured it firmly in her hand."You never wear underwear.?" Spike was nipping at her neck and he pulled back, his eyes clouded with desire.

"You talk too much." He kissed her again and Buffy surrendered to his tongue. He thrust himself back at her, she realised she still had him in her hand.She stroked his length gently, starting at the top and working down. Watching his face, Buffy smiled.Spike had his head thrown back and his eyes closed. She began to pump his length, slow at first and then faster,all the time mesmorised by the look of sheer bliss on his face. "Buffy." he whispered hoarsley. He opened his eyes briefly to look at her. His eyes dark pools of lust and love."Buffy, you need to stop." She tilted her head at him and maintained her speed. "Buffy I'm gonna cum!" He spoke through gritted teeth and Buffy relished this power she had over him.She released her hold on him and he groaned , with great difficulty she scooted down the sofa,until she was able to put her lips around his penis. He groaned again and put his fingers in the back of her hair, pushing her down further.She resumed the torture and took his full length in her mouth. Licking, then sucking. She felt him groan again, his hands pulling her hair and the thrust of his hips towards her."Buffy" he said again, about the only coherent word he could get out. "Gonna cum!"

She sucked harder , not realising she was taking him to a place he had never experienced before. He continued his groan and she briefly wondered if it was loud enough to wake her brother. She had wanted to please him,to let him know how much she loved him , how much she wanted to do for him. With a gasp and a fierce growl in the back of his throat he came, spilling himself into her mouth. Buffy lapped it up and licked him gently until he was dry. She carefully scooted back up the sofa and

watched his desire as she wiped her fingers around her mouth and sucked on them gently.

"You don't taste half bad!"

She pulled her to his lips and captured them in his own. He pulled away reluctantly and stared at her in wonder.

"You are one hell of a woman Buffy . You are amazing." He kissed her again , swept away in the perfect moment.

The heavy footsteps on the stairs warned them that Angel was coming down. Spike pulled up his zip on his trousers, but did not leave the task at hand. Kissing Buffy senseless. Angel came into the living room, looking at them carefully in the dark, before he put the light on. Buffy opened her eyes reluctantly, looking into Spike's eyes.She kissed his nose and began to sit up , with Spike's help.

"At least you can crash in my bed tonight." Angel said with a smile."Get much sleep?"

Spike watched as a slight flush crept up Buffy's face.  
"Some," Spike replied,his fingers stroking the back of her neck."You?"

Angel nodded.Spike could see by the look on his face that he had something on his mind,something that he obviously didn't want to express to Buffy. Spike raised his eyebrows towards the kitchen and Angel got up from the chair .

"Want a coffee luv?"Buffy stretched and stood.

"Yeah please,need to pee." He watched her with a smile as she left the room.

Instantly he was in the kitchen, in front of Angel.

"Well?" Spike said impatiently.

"I know people in Manchester."Angel announced."People who owe me favours."

"What kind of people?" Spike asked warily.

"Not very nice people. People who don't like domestic violence." Spike paced the short distance between the door and the fridge."Spike?" Angel queried.

Spike stopped to look at him.

"I really wanted to sort out the wanker myself." Angel nodded ."Wanted to make him bloody pay." Angel touched his arm in understanding.

"Me too, but we really don't need to get in deep shit. That wouldn't help Buffy. Would it?" He lowered his voice. "This way, we get revenge and we can still be around to help her."

Spike bit at his bottom lip.Finally he glanced up at Angel, eyes blazing.

"Do it, whatever it takes.Let's get the fucker." Angel gave Spike a high five. He returned it, but this was no celebration. This was payback for what Riley had done to his woman.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer. I sadly own nothing, but given half the chance I'd look after Spike/James for a while!

**A/N.Thanks for all the people who have reviewed and even to those people who have read,but not reviewed.You all motivate me to write more!**

Chapter Eleven

Buffy was in the bathroom when the panic struck .All of a sudden,the events of the last 24 hours hit her,hard.She found that she couldn't breathe easily.She broke out into a cold sweat and she couldn't get the picture of Riley out of her head. Riley breaking her arm, Riley coming home. Riley was going to come home,to her. He was going to come home to her and do what this time?She felt the tears and she let them come this time. She slumped down against the bath,knocking over a glass bottle.It hit the floor and smashed,but Buffy was unaware.She sat with her face in her hands,sobbing.

Spike heard the smash from the sofa.He glanced up at Angel and without hesitation he was up the stairs.He found Buffy,slumped against the bath,sobbing loudly.Almost immediately he was at her side, and pulled her onto his lap, soothing her with gentle words.His heart ached and despite his own resolve to be strong, his own tears fell against Buffy's hair. Angel looked at them from the bathroom doorway,rubbing his face anxiously. He felt powerless to help them. He closed the door and slipped downstairs to the telephone.

Spike rocked Buffy in his arms, stroking her hair."Come on luv.You know I can't stand it when you cry.Look" He lifted up her chin gently."You set me off too.People'll think I'm a right ponce!" He was certain he saw the slight curve of a smile on her tear stained face.She reached up and gently wiped the tears from his face.

"You're beautiful" She said softly and Spike raised his eyebrows sharply.

"Thanks luv, but that doesn't do a lot for my manly reputation." Buffy laughed this time and shifted in his lap.

"You don't have a manly reputation."

Spike tried to look offended."What? Loads of women at work fancy me!"

Buffy smiled at him.

"Big ego much, the only one I know at work who fancies you is Andrew!"

"Oh great!So much for my manhood."

In a heartbeat the atmosphere changed between them.Buffy shifted again in his lap and she raised her eyebrows at him.

"I don't think there's any doubt about your manhood,"She smiled at the feel of his growing erection."You manhood sure has a mind of it's own." She shifted in his lap so that she was straddled across him.Spike looked at the growing desire in her eyes and he gently stroked her cheek.

"You, Buffy, are..." He paused and tilted his head at her. Buffy waited, charging the sexual tension between them by rubbing against him.

"You are," Spike continued and traced his hand down her neck and down to the v of her t-shirt. He stroked the creamy flesh,just above the start of her breasts.

"You are," He said finally,"My everything."

Buffy opened her eyes wide and she felt the tears prick the back of her eyes She had never felt so adored and loved. Had this only happened in the last day, she felt she had known this man forever.She realised then that she had been waiting for him. Waiting forever.

She leant forward and kissed his lips, gently exploring his mouth. She waited until he opened his lips in invitation.She gently traced her tongue across his teeth and along the inside of his mouth. She found his tongue and she gently played with him.Spike returned the kiss and wound his hands through her hair. He pulled her to him, until there was no space between them.Buffy felt the burn coming from her stomach . The desire to be as close to him as she could get moved all rational thought to the back of her mind.She needed him and now.She pulled away from him and he groaned in protest. She reached between them and slowly unzipped his trousers, watching his darkening eyes.She smiled as his penis sprang, excited to be free. She stood slowly then and pulled down her trousers and her pretty pink thong. She watched the desire in Spikes face as she stood before him .She felt no embarrassment as he stared with longing at her.After what seemed like an eternity she returned to his knees and without hesitation she sank slowly onto his length.Her eyes never left his as he closed his eyes in pleasure.

Feeling her eyes on him, Spike opened his eyes.Watching her as they enjoyed the moment of stillness.Buffy began to gently lift herself up and then down on his penis and Spike groaned at the pleasure of this simple movement.This moment was about how much they loved each other. Buffy began to move more and she pressed her forehead against Spike's. Their eyes never leaving each other as the mounting desire took over. They both knew they would not last long, but this was about their first time.Buffy felt the tingle from her toes upwards as they made sharp movements against each other.

She felt the tears fall from her eyes, this was the most beautiful experience she had ever felt.Spike kissed the tears away and kissed her lips gently, he held onto her upper arms.He felt himself begin to freefall and he saw stars in her eyes. He watched as Buffy began her own blissful fall and he felt the tears at the back of his eyes.He breathed heavily and waited for her to come down.

"Buffy" he said softly as she opened her eyes.He couldn't find the words to describe the feeling he had."I love you." It didn't seem enough, what he felt at that moment was more than that,more than he'd ever felt in his whole life.Buffy gently touched his lips and found that she couldn't form words.

"I love you too" She managed.

They sat together for what seemed like hours, neither wanting to move,this perfect moment somehow shielding them from whatever madness waited for them outside the bathroom door.

Angel replaced the phone and sighed.

It was done.

He thought it would've given him more pleasure. He had just organised major payback for that bastard Riley,and yet it left him with a cold feeling.A feeling that started in the pit of his stomach and threatened to engulf him.


End file.
